Hateful Past Tense


I move to express a thing about your fierce love, or your fancy for fish
the tension rises
those tenses rising
to mock me
I move to cut it
the knife breaks on the past
far from perfect

Do I gently remind myself
that your phone no longer rings?
Do I shove my face into the ice water
of your empty chair?
Or maybe just this once
I can allow myself to forget
if only for a moment
I can hear your chuckle
I say you are

Seemingly simple
He was
such a small shift in gear
But I don’t drive shift
the car stalls.

Many moments
I can’t bring myself to say it
How dare I say
you were
when you are
so large in my head?



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